A rational analysis of why I lost myself after losing it during my GRE:

How often does one enjoy studying for an exam? As far as I know, I haven’t always gone through my studies with a smile on my face. However, this time it was different. I liked solving those quant sums. It had been eons since I touched math and it felt nice to go back to those basics I studied in school. I somehow found the concept of actually getting to learn new words everyday and having to give an exam on them quite pleasing. Memorizing those flash cards in the bus rides was a joy…in fact my bus journeys had become much more bearable thanks to those kewl companions, flash cards.
But my college studies had been left untouched because of this exam, my attitude being ‘deal with the things in hand, you can recover the losses of college studies after GRE’. So the college work just kept on piling at exponential rates and the only source of comfort was me telling myself, it’ll be all done by the 8th of Oct and I’ll be able to give full attention to my college work after that.
At the end of the 8th of Oct, I had a miserable GRE score and an enormous backlog. It was like a dam waiting to burst. And burst it did on the 8th. I was completely unprepared for four major seminars that I have to present in the coming 2 weeks, had not touched my journals (actually have completed 2 pages so far, just 98 more to go!), whose deadline is over lapping the seminar dates (and the journals are going to be checked by Dabeer ma’am, so no chance of postponing the date), our team had four major projects to finish by Jan, forget about collecting those sea water samples, we haven’t even begun on reference work yet. And don’t even get me started on the Marine Biotech conference.
If you look at it, its not actually a very big list of things to do, I mean I have been through worse, but it was the feeling of complete loss thanks to my GRE scores that left me high and dry. Suddenly I felt like the last 2 months had been a total waste. That I had achieved nothing. My efforts have been futile and now I faced a bleak future, near and far.
Talking did help, thanks to Four Seasons, Diti, Viraj and Sairam for listening to my endless ramblings and helping me come out of that phase. Its not like you can’t get up by yourself when you fall, but its more comforting when there is a helping hand nearby.